Why Do People Gossip?
How often do you find yourself talking about other people, especially those who's lives don't directly affect your own? Is it really healthy to gossip about other people in order to socially engage ourselves with our peers? Although it may seem like harmless chit chat, gossiping is a much deeper problem then most even realize. First of all when you gossip or speak negatively about the lives of others, you are judging the way someone is handling or living their own life, based on limited and sometimes even false information, which is usually obtained by hearsay. Why is it so entertaining for people to sit around examining the hardships and difficulties of others instead of talking about something positive in their own lives? The answer is simple, but also a bit sad.
People who are engaged in the lives of others are avoiding their own and in a way, they enjoy focusing on the trials and tribulations of someone else, mostly to take their minds off what we as human beings all find ourselves going through during one stage of lives or another. What gives people the right to dislike and defame someone they don't even take the time to have a conversation with? Most times our own inferiorities are the basis for the prejudgment we impose on others because it's too difficult to admit our own imperfections and issues to ourselves and others. It's pathetic to watch a group of people sit around putting down someone who isn't even there and has done nothing to anyone but live their own life the best they can. Instead of going with the flow when you get around negative people, stick up for whomever it is that's being bashed. Make a statement and be positive. You'd be surprised what kind off reaction you get, mostly because others don't think about what's being said or going on until it is brought to their attention and then processed individually.
Think about it, do you encourage your children to bully others or to act cruel to children that are different? It's very doubtful, especially because that kind of behavior is frowned upon in schools and is deemed unacceptable. So why do adults teach their kids to be good kind people without being that way themselves? The truth is because it's easier to focus on the hardships of people we have no emotional attachment to, instead of focusing on the aspectsÃƒÂ‚Ã‚Â we don't like in our own lives. Once you see there is a problem the right thing to do would be to improve it, but that would mean hard work and having accountability, something many people are just too lazy and scared to do.
As I write this I find myself wondering what kind of a response my opinions might induce. My intention is to get people to reflect about themselves and why being negative or judging others is simply a waste of time, not to mention unkind and ignorant. Nobody is perfect, even I catch myself talking to girlfriends about so and so or what so and so was doing etc. However, it's a rare occurrence you'll find me caught up in the middle of a group bashing of anyone, especially if they aren't there to defend themselves. I suppose I might be more popular if I'd shut up instead of disagreeing with everyone in the room by saying that it's none of our business and that unless we have been in someone else's shoes we have no right to comment on what we would do or what they should do, regardless what my own personal opinion about that person might be. This is especially the case when it comes to people who don't have children talking about how someone else's child rearing abilities are not up to par. Perhaps I feel this way because I too have been on both ends of the spectrum when it comes to having an opinion about something I hadn't yet experienced, only to find myself acting exactly the way I had so strongly denounced before hand. It wasn't at all on purpose and it made me feel terrible that I was doing something I new was wrong. However it opened my eyes to see that we are all human beings doing what we can to survive through our own emotional and physical struggles, which make up our lives and shape who we are.
Having an opinion is fine, it's just the way we form it is what can be dangerous, especially when it comes to dealing with other human beings. We as people have such inhumane ways in which we treat our fellow man, perhaps it's the fear of someone being better then you and being threatened by feelings of failure. Who knows? All I do know, is that helping those in need can never be a bad thing, even if you take a loss because of it, at least you know in your heart that you did what was right and that is something that can't be disputed.
Where does all this tie in? Well I guess it all comes down to taking control of your life and being the best you can be. Gossiping is merely one of the many distractions which keeps us from focusing on improving ourselves and having happy and fulfilling lives. If you're too busy judging the lives of people you hardly know instead of wishing them the best and worrying about how to help yourself, nothing good or productive will ever be in the final outcome. In other words you'll stay stuck in that rut of negativity while the people you spend so much time talking badly about will eventually move on and find themselves in a better position in life because they overcame the struggle of hardship. No thanks to the people who were consumed with the joy of expecting them to fail. I would rather be a social outcast because of my ability to overcome adversity and to correct my own short comings then those that were left behind who are still talking about how terrible everyone else is. Now that I think about it, weren't most of the world's greatest leaders just regular people with the ability to rise above the rest and take charge regardless of what other people thought? How much gossiping do you think John F. Kennedy did, what about Bill Gates or Gandhi? When you are driven to succeed I don't believe there's an awful lot of time to waste on the everyday problems of mere acquaintances, there are too many obstacles to overcome in their own lives so that they can one day succeed in reaching their goals and then living their dreams .
Do you have what it takes to be successful? Take the first step by cutting out the gossip and you might be surprised how your own personal success follows suit. Or would it hurt too much to try?
Thanks for reading!